Life is about meanings – meanings are feelings

Meredith wrote an important one about what is real.  It made me cry and laugh – I know what that means even though my pain is lesser and my path is different.

It was strong feeling, strong moment.

As I said in the later comment this morning (my time) I usually just hatch the feelings way too much. This time I took them and started painting.

—

Reality is like truth: they don’t exist but they are both real and true.

In my reality I have had to give birth to baby that had no possibility to live outside womb. It is as horrible as it sounds, jet still it was in a way beautiful too. I have had these reds and browns of blood in my head since. I have started to paint them out numerous time never getting it out.

This morning it was all done, all ready, to come out as I finally stopped standing in the way and let my hands do the work. This says all about the day and there is not more I want to say about this subject. This is truth of what I experienced, the best way I can describe it.

AARRE  26/10 2005

4 inc x 4 inc clayboard, inks, scraping

—

Epilogue

Art is not for sissies

After releasing the image all of the other abandoned images inside me started to yell, jump and waiwe their hairy little emotions  in a line wanting to be first to come out. I was supposed to grocery shopping. Instead I had something more important to say.

Meredith made me cry 21/10 2009

4 inc x 4 inc clayboard, inks, scraping

Wood, Acrylics

About 14cm x 8cm

Availability: AvailableSimilar Posts:

• Rei Cambiatio

Wood, Acrylics

About 30 cm x 40 cm

Availability: AvailableSimilar Posts:

• Abandoned Place

Wood

About 25 cm x 15 cm

Availability: In a private collection

I am writing this at Raleigh NC, we just came back from pccmmretreat with Jeanne. I am flying back to Finland on tuesday.

In the start of April I first broke studio lamps, then got way over my limit stuff to do with arts, work and stuff and after that our kitchen got flooded with water. We had a new diswasher installed in the start of the year. Something went wrong with the installing part – by profeccionals – and we had water leaking into kithcen for months. By the time it was noticed the kitchen was so wet that the whole downstairs flooring above concrete was removed. All furniture and stuff like all my yarns, books etc. from dowstairs was mooved to a storage and we had some adventure but finally got temporary appartment downtown Helsinki to stay while the heaters and dryers are at our home.

Plenty of stuff for one family – I could not keep up with this bead challenge I set myself up to even if I wanted. And now, being away from it for over two months I actually dont want to get back there. But I will tell more about why etc. later. This is just an quick update about things and everything especially for all the nice people I have met during this trip and shared my blog address with. (Especially hello Zoe B (with dots) from town with blue water tower and to you Karen (spelled how?) from Sheperdstown).

I booked the flight and tickets to retreat before knowing that we would have water damage in our home. So while I have been spending a week here doing arts, crafts and shopping for supplies my husband has had to deal with the situation back home alone. He must be exhausted by now. I am tired too, but actually for different reasons: for all the travelling, inspiration, language, heat, lack of sleaping, lack of nutritious foods, lack of good coffee…

Anyway, just wanted to say that I am alive and well – the retreat was success and I got more than my moneys worth by coming here I will tell you lots more about my trip when I get home and have time to upload the pictures and start writing it all out.

Wood, bleached

About 30 cm x 10 cm x 7cm
Availability: available

I finally got my photographing studio up today, but as the backlog for this month is already enormous I decided to continue the bead challenge from start of next month. We have several works in process with Petteri but unfortunately as they are for challenges and for a book we can not show much here. Busy as ants in spring that is.

I will get back to regular schedule in few weeks.

• Hollow tube rose